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If Operating Systems Were Airlines…
Post Info Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 11:34 pm by J David Print Print this page Share This

This is one of the funniest (read: geeky humor) things I have seen in a while. The premise is simple. We all know the different kinds of Operating Systems. We also have many complaints about all of them. Then, there are the airlines… well, they pretty much all suck. So, what happens when you combine the two things? A funny list is what happens!

  • UNIX Airways

    Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

  • Air DOS

    Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on…

  • Mac Airlines

    All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

  • Windows Air

    The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

  • Windows NT Air

    Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

  • Windows XP Air

    You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly colored and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The in flight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

  • Linux Air

    Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

    When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

Well, that’s it! I mean, Linux isn’t my favorite, but the list is still pretty damn funny. Oh, and if you have any suggestions for a Windows Vist-Air, leave it in the comments! Finally, credit for this list goes to Zyra’s website and it was this specific page.

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3 Responses to “ If Operating Systems Were Airlines… ”

  1. Joanne Graham

    What a valid post. I enjoy reading the posts on this site and will be sure to return on a regular basis.

  2. J David

    Ummm… K. Thanks very much!

  3. Neil

    Nice Post David, You forgot to mention that the Windows XP airline is full of pirates and that you have to prove you have a legitimate ticket at least 10 times during the flight !!