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How to Write a Paper in College


03.16.07 Posted in Personal by jdmacor

  1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
  2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
  3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
  4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.
  5. Check your email.
  6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
  7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.
  8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
  9. Check your email.
  10. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
  11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
  12. Grab some mp3z off of bit-torrent.
  13. Check your email. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!
  14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).
  15. Check your email.
  16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.
  17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your professor, the course, the college, the world at large.
  18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.
  19. While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
  20. Check your email.
  21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
  22. Play some solitaire (or age of legends!).
  23. Check out bored.com.
  24. Wash your hands.
  25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.
  26. Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
  27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
  28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.
  29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.
  30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.
  31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
  32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
  33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
  34. Punch the wall and break something.
  35. Check your email.
  36. Mumble obscenities.
  37. 5am – start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.
  38. Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.
  39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.

I found this post over at this site. The only change I made was that it used to say Kazaa and I changed it to Bit-torrent, cause who uses Kazaa anymore, right?!



9 Responses to “How to Write a Paper in College”

  1. I remember that I was wirting college papers everyday, sitting up late every night when I was a university student testking 640-460. Because of papers, I had rarely spare time to be with my friends on campus, nor did I talk over a cup of coffee lying on the green grass on campus. I would run across the campus busy reading papers, and eating sandwitches testking 70-646. I am happy to listen to the familar words,” the topic sentence, main idea, and conclusion..” As a foreigner, I am poor at speaking English, especially the use of the articles, “a, an, and the” The articles are the most difficult to learn in my case. Unlike my purpose , I sometimes make mistakes to make a sentence not by grammar, but by meaning. Of course, I make lots of mistakes grammatically. Those mistakes are made because I do not really know the small differences of the words. That’s my problem testking 350-030
    . I can not know how to solve that problem. …..

  2. That’s really nice post. Nice tips show the really nice effort of the author

  3. some hot chocolate milk, ands you can sleep in the classroom

  4. Mob mesh says:

    Mammoth posting. Your blog is fantastic and full of joy. I think you design it specially for funny stuff. My friend tell me about your blog and he inspire with your collections of funny pictures and i inspire with your videos section. Specially bean related funny videos are really hilarious.

  5. olfir says:

    you can record , and rewriting at home

  6. Frank says:

    This is the kind of list I needed when I was in college.

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  7. Very nice post. I think I know many people with similar experiences (including me) :)

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